Monday, August 27, 2012

Nervous Wreck No More

During my primary school years, I couldn't really comprehend why my mother was so nervous every time I participate in competitions. She was usually the more nervous and anxious one. She doesn't even go to school to watch me compete in quiz bees. Not that she didn't believe I would win (because more often than not I do, bragging aside).

Looking back, I now understand how my mom was feeling. As a mother, a parent, I became so concerned about anything that happens to my children's lives (as I'm sure she was then and is until now). As my older son goes through this right of passage called PSLE, I am trying to control my emotions and not be a nervous wreck. I take courage in the fact that my son says he is not nervous or scared (not sure if that is because he hasn't really taken in the implications of getting a good PSLE result). And I want to show him that I can also be calm and confident that he will do well, which will in turn make him more calm and confident that he can do better. More importantly, I want to reassure him that whatever the result is I will still be supporting him and going through the whole process with him.

As the prelims ends today, and the PSLE coming in the next 4 weeks, I find myself becoming less nervous and anxious. It may be because I have lowered my expectations. It may be because I have learned to let go. Whatever it is I'm glad it is happening to me now. My son and I can both relax and try to balance the pressure of going through PSLE and the fun of preparing for secondary school. After all, it doesn't really end at PSLE. It's just the beginning.

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